Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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