I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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