We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
