I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
