I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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