you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
