someone get that fucking seahorse.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
