And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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