I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
