I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize