Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How external is "for external use only"?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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