Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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