Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
