Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
