I'm lost and stupid without you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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