I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
