I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Still dying that you shit outside
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You ruined the universe
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
