I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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