There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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