im about as happy as oj after his trial
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
