i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
