Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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