the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize