Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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