so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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