that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
