this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
