The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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