The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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