my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize