I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i think i just lost a toe
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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