the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
