Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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