Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
