i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize