he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
