I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize