dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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