is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
