Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
