And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
