yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
