I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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