some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You pole danced in your parka.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I need water and some morals
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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