But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
