You're my little dorito
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize