This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize