apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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