for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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