Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
