sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
