It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
