That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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