its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
