Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize