I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
