Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
