Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
