Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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