i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
