his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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