Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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