So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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