I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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