then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
