Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
