Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
