he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I understand Curling. That high.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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