I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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